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There is No Wagon to Fall Off – Find Peace Through Your Addictions!

Do you ever get overwhelmed by your to-do list?  Not the to-do lists like things at work, or the housework, or managing your relationships in life, we barely have enough time for these things, right? These are never-ending as it is, but do you ever get overwhelmed by the most important to-do list; which is you?  Until you face your internal to-do list you will forever feel as though you’re barely hanging on and so the cycle of being on or off the wagon continues.

It’s easy in life to let everything pile up. We get overwhelmed and it’s easy to feel stuck.  So instead of dealing with our ‘stuff’, we let another day slide, then a week and then before we know it the years have gone by, and we are still where we were a decade ago.  We sometimes change our environment, get a new job, meet new people, and form new relationships, accumulate more things, but the feelings deep within our souls remain the same.  Do you ever ask, ‘what’s the point?’  Really what we are asking is ‘what’s the point, to life?’.

What we are all deeply desiring isn’t happiness, it’s inner peace!

Last week I spent 5 days with a group of women at my Transcendence Retreat.  It was an incredible week and as I drove away, I reflected on why this group of women made this particular retreat one of my best in over 20 years of running women’s groups. They simply showed up with open minds and were willing to take the journey with me.

The question always arises in my retreats and events about how to stay on the wagon.  There is NO WAGON, you’re simply living LIFE!  It has its ups and downs, and it’s highs and lows.  So, what happens when we don’t have the resilience, strength or skills to approach the inevitable lows?  We lean into our addictions to escape.  So, what is addiction really?  

Addiction is fear and the absence of love. What you’re suffering from is the addiction to the personality and the ego that has painted a false sense of self.  You believe your pain and suffering is unique and special to you. It’s not, it’s a human infliction and you’re not alone.   Suffering is the belief that you are separate from one another and separate from the divine and this keeps you lonely and separated from each other.

When you escape into your addictions you are looking for one thing, peace.  You’re under the illusion that what you want is happiness and spend your lives seeking, searching and craving happiness, but that’s where you are misguided by a society that’s constantly telling you what you need to obtain such false happiness. The new house, the car, the man or woman, the family, the status and career etc etc.  

It’s all built of the energy of lack and the things you think and are told will make you happy. But that can polarise you even further because when you desire the things you don’t have, you feel even more inadequate and that’s when apathy can set into full gear. We scream down the highway of life screaming ‘I give up, who bloody cares anyway!?’ Your soul cares, that’s who and so does the divine universe which wants to expand and express itself through you.

Everything outside of you though is a distraction and an illusion.  What happens when you get everything you thought you wanted?  You’re still the same person inside, only now with more responsibilities and more things to take care of, maintain and manage. You might get what you want and gain fleeting moments of satisfaction and a sense of temporary achievements, but you’re still empty.  You are still carrying the trauma of your pasts; the wounds life has accumulated and so your addictions continue.  

So, you go back into your addictions and fall off that imaginary wagon because there’s more to learn and unpack. You haven’t suffered enough yet to wake up to your own divinity and power!

You still haven’t yet found the higher meaning of suffering. Pain in life is inevitable, but suffering is optional.  But suffering serves only one true purpose, to awaken you. To bring in the light so you have faith and trust that everything is always working out for you. You just can’t see it yet. Have faith and let go.

To let go, feels like a possession.  As though some ungodly entity will overtake your consciousness and you’ll somehow lose yourself.  
So, you struggle to let go and instead hold onto your pain to keep you grounded.  And yet all you really want to do is surrender, and to feel safe and not alone. To feel secure enough to let go and let God.

‘It’s me, my pain! You don’t understand!’  Beneath it all is the biggest problem humans face, that of the ego and pain body and the illusion that God and the universe, the divine intelligence isn’t accessible to you. You forget who you truly are.

You are LOVE, everything else is an illusion. You block love through fear and you chose to not be love through fear.  And you forget what love is and have even given that a false identity.

What is love to you?  Think about this.  Maybe it’s time for an upgrade?

When you fall off the wagon, you’ve succumbed to pain because you have more healing to do. Accept that’s what you’re doing.  Acknowledge it and forgive yourself and be compassionate. From there write about your feelings.  Listen to them. What’s your real pain?  Is it fear of failure or success?  Why are you afraid of failure anyway?  Isn’t that where the growth is?  Stop fearing pain and loss.  Loss of what? The false sense of self?

We fear change more than we fear staying right where we are.  And that’s why we stay stuck. Who would you be underneath it all? You’d be at peace.  You’d know you are divine in nature. You’d know the universe loves you, that you are loved and not alone. The angels are with you.

You tell yourself you have no choices, but you do.  You have the free will to decide how you feel.  That’s it.  That’s all it takes.

At the end of every retreat, there is always the conversation about ‘What now, where do we begin moving forward?’  To which I reply, ‘You do what’s right in front of you, you work on the most important thing in your life that you have been avoiding that will bring you the inner peace and the resolution you crave. That’s what you’re really craving after all, not your addiction of choice.

Put your inner peace at the top of your list and you create the space and the necessary boundaries so you can focus on creating it. As you shift your inside world your outside world changes.  

You have an infinite source of inner strength and inner power when you allow the universe to work its magic through you. Meditate, pray, walk, laugh and sing, whatever works for you to fill your soul up with light, and find your way back home. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

Deborah xxx

PS If this blog resonated with you and your soul guides you, you will LOVE my upcoming 2-day virtual event, Embody The Switch. Come and discover the hidden blocks that stand between you and your best life. 
Find out more here.

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